Thursday, October 25, 2007

Stuck


I think we are stuck. I think this homestudy report will never be complete.

If I have to answer the question "how are things with the adoption going?" with the response "fine, still waiting for our homestudy report to be finalized" I think I will spontaneously burst into tears right in front of the innocent unsuspecting questioner. It doesn't matter if that person is a friend, co-worker, boss, family member, whatever...that person is going to get more than they bargained for.

That being said, I am hoping that the fact that I am admitting frustration will somehow align the stars so that things will move along. It is akin to this: when you lose your keys, and you finally give up and go get new ones made, then you find your old ones. I can hear a voice in my head saying "ok already! I understand this is a tedious and frustrating process, I've learned enough from this part of the process, lesson learned, OK, let's move on now!" So, I completely expect to have an email later today saying it is all done and that we can send it to immigration now. (See crossing fingers picture below).

I would love to place blame somewhere, but I am afraid it is inherent in the process and in the country we chose. We didn't pick China, Guatemala, or Russia and there aren't thousands of adoptions from Poland every year. There are 67. Yes, 67 children were adopted from Poland into the U.S. last year. That reason alone probably explains why our homestudy report isn't an easy form that has been done billions of times before. Right now, I would love to blame our homestudy agency for not moving things along faster. But they could point to us taking 2 months to get our doctor visits and reports completed, or to our agency for not giving explicit instructions from the start. So we are all to blame, or there is simply no "blame" at all.

So, we feel stuck, but we somehow have faith that things will move along. They have to. Other families have gotten through this and adopted from Poland, so we know it is possible. If nothing else, our agencies won't get paid until things move along! We at least have faith that we are working with businesses that are motivated by completing services and receiving payment (among other more human motivations, I am sure).

4 comments:

THE SCHAEFERS said...

Jen, hang in there!
There are days that things feel like they are going well, and days that you feel "stuck in the mud".

We started the process 4/2006 and have now been "stuck" for a month when we officially accepted our referral for our Polish princesses. We are anxiously awaiting our court date (and thus travel dates).

It is almost easier when YOUR gathering the paperwork because you have a sense of control, once your tasks are done -- the waiting can be tough. Know that there are many of us out there who can sympathize and in the end all the frustration will be worth it.

Anonymous said...

Hi Sweetie,

Bummer! You guys don't deserve this hassle!

I wish I could help. I think the "Hang in there" advice is sound. You have made a major investment thus far, and it HAS worked in the past. If anyone can do it, you can!

Love,

Dad

mom said...

Yeah. Ditto what Dad says. My heart aches for you. But it can only get better from here on. Love you both a lot. Mom

CarrieJ said...

Wish I had lots of wisdom, but I don't. I can't even imagine how frustrating it is. I know it will be so worth it in the end. The "package" is one lucky kid.

Love you guys!

Carrie